Momma told me there'd be days like this.

Remember when your mom could not say one thing right? Yes, I'm talking about those ugly, ugly teen years. When my mom would speak, the Earth's rotation would shift due to the exaggerated rolling of my eyes.
"I KNOW." I would say, before she could finish her sentence.
Nowadays, those little gems she gave bounce around in my brain and get passed on to anyone who will listen. She's pretty smart with the life stuff, my mom. And the stuff that doesn't really make sense still, well I'm sure it will someday. Here are my top ten:

10: Buy the good bed linens. Turns out if you skimp on the thread count or buy something called a 'blend', it can feel like rubbing dryer sheets on your bare behind.
9: Moisturize your neck, for Gods sake. Wrinkles will appear in the most bizarre places if you give it a few years. Your neck is one of them, and you don't want to look like a Basset Hound.
8. Honesty really is the best of all policies. I once saw my mother drive back to the gas station to return change she was mistakenly given. When you're 13, you have no money and giving back free cash is insane. When you're 33, you worry about going to Hell.
7. Give, give, give. My mother gives her time so selflessly, her thoughtfulness so earnestly, and her gifts so sincerely. Yeah, some people don't care, don't appreciate, don't reciprocate. Never stopped her. Give now, forgive now, and leave the grudges for someone else. Life's just too damn short.
8. Marriage is a compromise. Big one. "Sometimes it's 50/50, but not often. Most of the time it's 70/30 or 80/20. There are times it's going to be 100/0. Point is, you don't always get your way, but every once in a while, you will."
6. Wait until someone gets up, then ask for more wine. This used to drive me crazy. Before I could drink. Now I echo the long-crafted skill of my mother by curling up in my comfy chair and holding up my empty glass like the Statue of Liberty. (clause: repay with a kiss or a compliment.)
5. Clap when you are excited. She will stand next to me absorbed in conversation, then abruptly clap and exclaim, "Ooooooo! You're here! I'm so excited!" If her moods are an open book, then the best stories are the ones with the clapping.
4. "Don't get your panties in a bunch." Yep, panties all bunched are no fun, she was right. Un-bunch those knickers and just relax.
3. Fall in love forever, not just in the beginning. It used to make me gag, but my mom and dad set the most stellar example for love. Not nauseating, in your face, or a facade. Just real, honest, sometimes we fight but you still make me giggle (and clap) love. Over 40 years of a prime example can really set a kid up for success.
2. Learn how to sew a button, stitch a tear, prune a plant, make 'hospital corners', cook a decent meal, paint a room, decorate a home, and still be utterly, fabulously un-domestic. Enough said. She's still herself, she's nobody's housewife, but she's got mad skills. Thanks for the lessons, mom.
1. Most everything can be solved by Advil or Chardonnay. Or on a bad day, both. I used to tease her for her Costco supply of both these household items, now I see the light.

If you can come up with a list of things your mom did for you, no matter how small, tell her. I promise you she'll appreciate it. She may even clap.